ARSE (nsfw)

June 29, 2010

Here’s a scenario for you. I’m a PR manager. I work for a place with a very high-level brand, inspiring fierce public loyalty, but also a certain amount of mocking by detractors. It’s sad, because the first half of our name sounds like a rude word, and people use it as a rude nickname. It’s real schoolkid stuff. But then, most people do think we’re a bit crap. So we take it in good humour and encourage the intensity of our fans’ loyalty.

One way we do this is to build a gigantic new HQ, make it as ostentatious and in-yer-face as we can, and then line it with 20-foot-high branding. We’d hate anyone to miss us! We, like, OWN this neighbourhood, you see.

Well, one day I’m at work, and someone from the shop comes and says they want to hang a vinyl banner over the railings. I say, “Sure, okay.” (Why? Why do I say okay?) So they send a couple of caretakers, or work  placement kids, or shop assistants, or somebody off the street, to hang it up, and they hang it up. They hang it right over the giant, 3D statement lettering that is our signage. In fact, they hang it over the bit of our name that comes right after the rude word – so that it accentuates the rude word, making it look as if we, our “team”, think it’s a funny  joke! Cause, you know, we’re a bit crap, an’ all that.

They call me out to have a look. Or rather, they don’t – because these people never do, do they? The vinyl-banner-ordering ones. It’s my job to police the brand, so I make sure I notice it at the end of the day, as I leave through the incredibly prominent front entrance of the heavily-branded premises.

There it is, with our silver “arse” winking at me in the sun. Ahhhhh! A sight for sore eyes. When I get home I log on immediately and drop the shop a quick email, before I forget. “Hey, guys, I just saw the banner you put up! Great work,” I tell them.

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One Response to “ARSE (nsfw)”

  1. I think they were just ganging up on their workmate, Alan.

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