how to really reach your customers

November 10, 2008

And it knows some killer words. My favourite bit of all is the part about the pre-famulated amulite. It just gets better from then on.

All I can think is that if this guy is typical of how they like talking over at Rockwell, that totally explains the phone bills when my brother had that long-distance thing with Abby Rockwell (shome relation shurely – ed.) after summer camp when he was twelve.

Also, you can joke all you like. But in fact my inner gazelle does really talk like this. I can’t get it to shut up. I even wrote a poem once called The Electrical Paradox, and it sounded just like this. Here’s the middle stanza:

Here’s how I did it. The radio I plugged in
so I could hear from downstairs when the circuit was off
sounded like it was picking up transmissions
from Mars, though it had worked in its previous outlet.
My outlet tester gave me a reading like nothing
I’d seen before! The whole thing had me flummoxed.
On further investigation the open ground
I’d been expecting, on previous experience,
was really a hot/ground reverse in the circuit’s run
(which I know to be completely impossible);
all the others were working, and they tested
as hot/neutral reverse. However, the hot
was connected to neutral in this outlet.
I’ve put it right; the house now has a clean
electromagnetic field, and I’m vindicated!


Many thanks to the always-saintly Erin O’Brien for the tip.m> Many thanks to the always-saintly Erin O’Brien for the tip.


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